Mer Strikes Back
by wiccanforever
Summary: After Derek's speech in 4.04 Heart of the Matter, Meredith decided it's time for a little speech of her own. She finally takes a stand and defends herself. ONE-SHOT


This has been buzzing in my head forever, but I didn't want to start a story on it, so I decided on a one-shot

This has been buzzing in my head forever, but I didn't want to start a story on it, so I decided on a one-shot. I really hope you like it, please review!

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_Derek: I want to marry you. I want to have kids with you. I want to build us a house. I want to settle down and grow old with you. I want to die when I'm 110 years old in your arms. I don't want 48 uninterrupted hours. I want a lifetime._

(_Meredith takes a step back__)_

Derek: Mm-hmm. Do you see what happens? I say things like that, and you fight the urge to run in the opposite direction. It's okay. I understand. I didn't, but now I do. I do...you're just getting started. And I've been doing this for a long time. Deep down...you're still an intern. And you're not ready.

Meredith: I'm not ready right now. But things could stay the way they are... And I can get ready. I'll get ready.

Derek: Things can stay the way they are. We can still meet in the elevator or the on call room. And maybe you'll be ready. And I'll wait. I'll wait until you're ready.

Meredith: Okay, then.

Derek: Yeah, but what if...what if while I'm waiting I meet someone who is ready to give me what I want from you?

Meredith: What if you do?

Derek: I don't know.

Derek stepped into the elevator, sighing and was surprised when Meredith walked into the elevator. He stared at her as the doors closed.

"You don't love me, Derek," Meredith stated calmly, but he could see the anger in her eyes.

"What?" Derek asked, completely thrown off by this statement.

"You think you love me, but you don't know what love is. You can't say all those things to me and then say that if someone else comes along, you don't know what to do. If you actually loved me, you would know what to do; if you actually loved me you wouldn't settle for anyone else," Meredith said coldly. The elevator dinged and she stepped out, giving him one last disgusted look.

Derek stood there amazed for a second and then ran off the elevator to catch up with her.

"How could you say that?" he asked. "How could you question my love for you?"

"There you go again, bringing up your supposed love for me. If you loved me, you wouldn't have told me that flirting with some girl in a bar was the highlight of your week. If you loved me, you would have actually been there for me when Susan died and my father blamed me for her death, you were supposed to come over. If you loved me, you wouldn't have been so distant, you wouldn't have ignored me for the race to become Chief. If you loved me, you would never have told me that you loved me and then asked me to put you out of your misery. You have no idea what true love is, you only love yourself," Meredith argued.

"You pushed me away, what could I do?" Derek countered.

"My mother died, I almost died, my step-mom died, and my father hates me; don't you think that I was distracted and hurt. All you could think of was yourself, that I was pushing you away, poor you. You think you know what love is, but you don't, I think the failed marriage proves that!" Meredith exclaimed.

"You can't keep bringing Addison in the argument, that's getting old," Derek said.

"That's another thing! I can use Addison in our arguments all I want because you never told me about her, then you chose her, and then you tortured me by sending me longing looks and flirting with me, right in front of her. If you loved her, you would have actually tried to make your marriage work, and if you loved me, you would have let me go. The second I got with Finn, you turned into a Grade A asshole!" Meredith yelled.

"I thought you were over that my now," Derek said.

"No, Derek, I am not over that yet and I probably won't ever be. You never thought that it affected me, Derek, but it did. You never told me about her and then after your attempts to save your marriage failed, I became your second choice and I accepted that.

How could I trust you after that? How could I just jump back into a relationship with you? I still don't trust you, I'm always waiting for the other shoe to drop, and I'm sick of it. Whatever we have is over, Derek, because you don't really love me. Now that I know that, I can actually get over you," Meredith replied.

"What? I do love you Meredith, I chose you! After the camping trip, we were so happy…until you tried to kill yourself," Derek added darkly.

"Are you talking about my drowning? That is so low, Derek. I didn't jump in to the water Derek; a patient accidentally knocked me in. The water was freezing, I got tired, and I admit, that, just for a second, I wondered what it would feel like to just let go and not have to deal with my screwed up life. All it took was that one second of doubt, and I lost the fight, I couldn't swim anymore.

You think I gave up on you, that my love for you wasn't enough, but it wasn't that, I just didn't trust that our relationship would last. I thought you could be happier without me, I kept waiting for the other shoe to drop and my mother's lucidity was it. You always blamed me for drowning, but until now, you never knew a thing about it," Meredith stated coldly.

Derek was dumbstruck and that was all Meredith needed as an excuse to leave. She turned around to leave and she finally saw the huge crowd that had watched the whole scene in the lobby.

"Okay, guys, soap opera is over," Meredith called out. "And Derek? Have fun with your someone else."

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I know it's short and anti-Derek, but I felt that Meredith really needed to say her piece in that episode. I'm usually MerDer, but I wasn't sure how to get them together in this story. This is supposed to be a one-shot, but if I get enough reviews wanting more, I might add another chapter or make this an actual story, so please REVIEW!


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